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From: The Man We Love To Hate
Date: 3/6/2003
Time: 1:17:49 AM
Remote Name: 68.101.161.79
first of all I would like to extend our deepest condolences to Rusty and his family from all of the remaining Men In Black...it just does not seem right that a Man no matter where he is or what he may be can not be there with his Mother when she takes the Big Drift Away,especially when she has been ill for so long and they know that the end is near... The Men In Black have lost many friends so we know and we share the pain that Rusty must be going through...now I could say that Rusty's Mother is no longer suffering which would be correct,yet I also know that the pain and suffering may be over for Juanita but for her family especially Rusty that pain is just begining...FREE RUSTY...I mourn each of the Partners that I have lost nearly everyday and I will never forget having to tell my seven Brothers and Sisters that my Mother had died while I was alone with her at the hospital as they were out having breakfast,I carry heavy guilt over the death of one of my Partners because I knew he was in pain yet I allowed him to not stay with us but to go for a drive alone where he put a bullet through his brain,so I feel that i'm pretty in tune with dealing with the Death of a loved one...hell we just past the death date of seven of our people and Nice Guy Eddies death date is nearly here and it seems like yesterday he was here beside me taking care of my ass...The Men In Black also lost another loved one today,actually it was one of the Brothers wife and this story really sucks Y'all so bear with me as I need to get this off my chest and this here is where I consider myself safe...Brother Paul lives up in Fort Collins Colorado with a 16 year old daughter and an 8 year old daughter and up until a month ago his wife Linda...now Linda was a bit heavy so she decided to go to the doctor for help,the doctor suggested stapling her stomach making it only able to hold two ounces instead of forty ounces so it was discussed and Linda and Paul decided the operation was the best solution the doctor had done 383 stomachs with no real problems and it was touted as a bit dangerous but not deadly...so Linda had the operation about a month ago however there was a problem after three days the doctors discovered she was leaking into her abdomen from her bowels so they reopened her to see the damage which was major...her kidneys shut down three weeks ago she was on a respirator and not really aware of what was happening to her(repeated operations)and my Bro Paul was still holding out hope...she was leaking two quarts per day and all the doctors did was drain the leakage they perforated her bowel somehow and could not fix their fuck up,so for the past three weeks all of us except for her husband Paul have been waiting for her to die,Paul was waiting for her to open her eyes to tell him what to do next... that is until early this morning when he was called to the hospital at 3am shortly there after Linda took that Big Drift Away now she is no longer suffering but for her kids and her husband the suffering is just begining as it is for all The Men In Black as we attempt to comfort our Brother Paul...he has told me not to come to Colorado at this time so I will do as he request yet my heart is screaming for me to go to this Man who I have known for nearly thirty years to comfort him and to show the proper respects from The Men In Black and to represent us at the memorial service which Paul says he does not want us to travel all that distance to attend....shit y'all she went in the hospital to lose weight and she lost her life because of some doctors fuck up(this is probably why Paul does not want me in Fort Collins)...so now my Brother is all fucked up and he won't let us come to Colorado for the services Saturday and we will respect his wish but i'm going to put Doc on the spot here on the Free Rusty Guest Book by asking him if he would be Free Saturday and willing to run up to Fort Collins to be our represenative for the memorial...Paul can't bitch if your not traveling 1200 miles and Doc your the only person who I know and trust who is close enough to show our Brother that we are beside him when he needs us even if he won't allow me to be there in person...Doc you are in no way really expected to do as i've requested shit Bro you don't know Paul and Linda,but you do know me and I would not ask this of you if you were not my Trusted and Respected Brother..I will understand if you pass and I know this guest book is not the place to put you on the spot but I did it anyway(blame it on emotions from deep down inside this cold black heart)you can respond to me by e-mail if you would rather but please know I will fully understand if you can not make it to Fort Collins,I simply had to ask as I did not know where else to turn....now all the rest of you if your wife or husband is too heavy do not allow the one you love to have this stomach reduction surgery as people die from it often we just never hear about it because it would make us realize that doctors fuck up often...especially when they work on people that I love...it is better to live life overweight than to die a slow painful death filled with agony until it is a blessing to finally take that Big Drift Away....I apologize for going on so long and Doc sorry to be such a fuck but my heart is all twisted so I could not help myself...y'all know me and you know that I would be there for my Brother Paul but for some reason he does not want me and Malcolm to make the trip(he worries about my health)but even with that request I still can not help but to try my best to show Paul and his girls that The Men In Black and I are always with him and even though there are many miles between him and the rest of us,we will find some way for someone to be there to give him our Love and Respects...death may be rough when it happens to you but once your dead it is your loved ones who now weep in silence... Hug your partners and tell your people that you Love them no matter how big or macho you may be because once they are gone even we Thugs can do nothing but mourn thier passing and celebrate their life..Pour Out A Little Liquor..Linda Rest In Peace and say hey to Juanita who is peacefully resting beside you tonight....The Men In Black and I truly do Love all of you here in this Beautiful Family that we call The Free Rusty Crew...Take Care Of Yourselves and Your People...Free Rusty...